The break-down of a long-term relationship can leave you feeling like your whole life has been shattered. Suddenly, everything that you knew and were familiar with is no more, and you’re dealing with an overwhelming feeling of grief and loss. Whether you saw it coming or not, and whether it was you or your partner’s decision or a mutual agreement, there’s no denying that trying to move on after a long-term relationship comes to an end is extremely difficult. Although the process can seem overwhelming, here are a few things that you can do to start reclaiming your life and your independence.
#1. Get Your Finances in Order:
Most couples in long-term relationships pool their finances together, whether it’s with a joint credit card, buying a house together, or simply having a joint checking or savings account. The first thing to do to get your independence and life back is to sort out your finances and take control of your money away from your ex-partner. Come to an agreement about any property that you have together, split the money in joint bank accounts, and speak to your creditors about any joint debts. You may be able to come to an amicable agreement with your partner to continue paying off joint debts together, but if this isn’t possible, you may wish to seek legal advice. You may also want to consider selling your engagement and/or wedding ring, many people have sold a diamond ring here to regain financial independence after a breakup.
#2. Not Everything Has to Change:
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that everything has to change after a breakup, unless of course you feel that a complete clean slate is what you need. You can still continue to keep in touch with mutual friends and enjoy the things that you and your partner enjoyed doing together, if this makes you happy. It might feel different when you’re used to having your partner there, but this is a great opportunity to embrace the change and enjoy doing things on your own, or finding new friends to do them with.
#3. Try New Things:
In addition to continuing doing the things that you enjoy, now is the best time to try out new things and get out of your comfort zone. After all, you’re single now, and that puts you in a position where you can do almost anything that you want. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to visit a certain country – why not travel there alone and use the experience to boost your self-confidence, see new things, try new experiences and meet new friends? Or, look at things to do in your area – whether you’ve always wanted to try art and join an art class, take cooking classes in a cuisine that you love, or start playing a new team sport, channel the positives and find new things that you didn’t know you were good at or would enjoy so much.
Everybody gets over a breakup differently, but these tips have helped many people move on.